Having long and serious conversations is always good. It clears questions and provides info for me to make decisions or just to confirm what’s on my mind. Hearing more and more from him, I realized I needed to be stronger than I already was, for him, and for myself and him.
When people wonder why they deserve anyone’s love, it always shows one’s insecurities. Oh love, such a sacred word. Can you really rationally love someone? Is it still love?
Learning about someone’s dark side is not pleasant, but necessary. If you strip down every piece of exterior of someone: money, social status, famous school diploma, good looks, what else is left there for you to dewell your love on? Can the barebone of that person support your love? And where does your love for that person come from anyway?
I guess all those questions won’t be asked if love has already happened.
I wanted this blog to be “no need to say”, but the domain “noneedtosay.tumblr.com” has been taken. And I also wanted to keep my blog name and the domain name parallel, which basically means the part before “.tumblr.com” has to be the same as the title of my blog without spaces between words. I loathed the person who took that domain but had to settle for something else.
So I added one more word “much” at the end. What difference does this one word make? Probably not “much”. The point of either “no need to say” or “no need to say much” is to make sure people who stumble upon this blog understand that whatever in here is not out of a necessity of expressing. The mere existence of this blog is to alleviate my misery. You see, people always take the word misery too seriously without realizing most of us live in miseries. I guess you just have to know or learn how to deal with it. And the first step is to admit that it’s part of life and don’t panic when hearing this word! Since there is no sign showing that having this blog will actually alleviate my misery or is the only way to do it, then there is no “need” to say what I will say here.
Then I changed my mind again. I decided the name of blog should be “N+Episodes”, meaning many many episodes of life.
There is no guarantee that this blog will survive. I can be volatile at times and I often think what I thought as good ideas yesterday are shit. The good idea of having this blog may turn out to be a bad one tomorrow and this blog might be discontinued.
But as now, I am hopeful.